I have always said that if I meet a normal family I shall put them on a pedestal in the corner of my room and throw peanuts at them. Writing Wills would be so much easier if everyone was the same, but life itself would be so much duller.
50 years ago most children were born to married parents, who stayed married. In the last 10 years, the number of married couple families declined by 100,000. Societal and legislative changes have meant that gay couples can now register Civil Partnerships, be registered as co parents on birth certificates, and adopt children together.
In 2009 there were just over 228,000 marriages and 126,000 divorces. In 2010 there were just over 3,000 Civil Partnerships registered and 353 dissolutions. Of course figures can mean anything you want, but I believe that we should not be focussing our legal attention on the possible breakdown of relationships, but look instead at protecting the family should one civil partner die. Things can be complicated.
Take Amy. Amy has 2 children Charlie and David with her partner Bella. Amy is Charlie’s biological mother, and Bella is David’s. Charlie and David have the same father, Ed, who has a partner Fred. Ed is named on the birth certificate alongside the birth mother, but not her Partner. Amy, Bella, Ed and Fred share the parenting, but Charlie and David live with their mothers.
Confusing? Maybe, but this is increasingly common. If Amy dies, who should look after Charlie? Bella or Ed? What if Charlie needs an operation? Can Bella give permission? Should Amy and Bella try to adopt each other’s children? Where would this leave Ed and Fred? And what about Fred, he’s not biologically related to either of the children, but may be heavily involved in their lives.
If we consider grandparents, the situation can get very confusing. Most grandparents tend to pass their money through the generations. Without careful planning, Charlie or David may be accidentally excluded from inheriting from someone they always considered to be their grandparent.
The bare minimum that Amy, Bella, Ed and Fred should do is have parental responsibility agreements in place, and draw up their Wills, particularly considering who should be a legal guardian. They should also consider persuading their parents to review their own Wills.
Family relationships are complicated. Some are more complicated than others. All parents should consider whether their legal arrangements are sufficient, and if not, do something about it.
For more information and advice please contact me.
By Fiona Dodd
